"It's not even hard enough to be plastic. It's a paper town. All the paper kids drinking beer some bum bought for them at the paper convenience store. Everyone demented with the mania of owning things. All the things paper-thin and paper-frail. And all the people, too. I've lived here for eighteen years and I have never once in my life come across anyone who cares about anything that matters.” -Paper Towns, John Green.
After a coffee and a chat with a really cool young lad (SHOUTOUT if you're reading this), I've come to realize that I, too, have been living in a paper town. I spent so much time surrounded by Paper People, hoping that I could change them. I know better now. Unfortunately, there is no such thing as knowing better until knowing better is utterly useless. I don't want to be that pessimistic downer who bitches about how their town and everyone in it sucks, because I know that's not true. I've recently learned just how many amazing people I really do have, and I owe so, so much to them. I've realized that you don't have PHYSICALLY escape the Paper Town in order to be free from it. There are always exits, it's just a matter of looking for them in the right places.
As most of you probably know (and some may roll their eyes at), I've long since struggled with the feeling that I'm constantly being covered in paper cuts from this very much Paper Town. I look at so many people I've loved- and still love, although in different ways- and I feel very sad for them. I often see people who have so much potential, who could be so much more if only they hadn't fallen victim to this Paper Town. (how many times can I use that term in one blog post??) Anyway, my point here isn't to sound condescending or pretentious. The point is that I know what it's like to feel like there's so much more out there, and to not understand the people around you. What you need to understand is that mostly everyone is lost. Mostly everyone is scared at least half the time, and are trying to find ways to numb that fear. I may not be close to you, but I'm still gonna ask you to take a long look around you and see what you have that's made of paper. You'd be surprised to learn who your true friends are...and who they aren't. Do you want to be just another Paper Teenager?
In the past few days, I've talked to so many people and reconnected and just generally had a good time. I've been happy, and I don't know how long it's been since I could honestly say that. Instead of thinking about who you have a 'fun' time with, think about who you have an INTERESTING time with. Are your Paper Peers still going to be there for you the next morning when you wake up? To quote John Green one last time- "But who would you DIE for? Who would wake up for at 4 in the morning, even if you don't know why he needs you?" There are real people out there who do care about real things, don't doubt that. I am willing to give you my word. It may be a Paper Town, but within every Paper Town there's always some hidden back roads full of really fucking amazing things and people that you may not have gotten to experience otherwise. For that, I am immensely thankful.
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