On Being 'Nice'

To me, there's a big difference between a ‘nice’ person and a ‘kind’ person. Being ‘nice’ usually involves being simple and sweet. It is usually done to please others. It has everything to do with reputation and nothing to do with actual character. I know a lot of outwardly ‘nice’ people who really have nothing else to offer. Their ‘niceness’ is often, in actuality, just them lacking the complexity to form opinions and speak their mind and stand up for themselves and others. They’re all smiles and compliments and never a rude word because they want people to view them that way. It’s all about reputation. Not saying that’s bad- I’m just saying, it annoys me to see people mistake that as actual goodness. As a matter of fact, fuck goodness. As Buddy Wakefield said- “I don’t care to be good- I care to be whole.” People that are ‘kind’ are not always the ones saying nice things- in fact, some of the truly kindest people that I know are often not always the friendliest or sweetest people on the outside looking in. Because kindness is not really the way that you build yourself up, it’s the way that you are when no one is looking. It’s the things that you find beautiful, it’s the people you’ve cried for and all the stories you’ve taken time to listen to. The exact quote I read was “Kindness connects to who you are, while niceness connects to how you want to be seen.”  I believe in this completely. “Nice” is a sham. I don’t give a shit if I’m nice, honestly. Sometimes I’m just not. I make inappropriate jokes and sometimes judge others and all that other human stuff- and I’m not particularly proud of that, but it is what we are. It’s human. But I’d like to think that, when it comes down to it, I’m kind. Or at least, I have the potential to be. I think that’s what matters. Oooookay