20 Things I Learned by Age 20 (and wish I'd learned sooner)

1. Apathy is not cool. Pretending not to care is a dangerous game. Be honest about your feelings. Tell people you love them, that you've been thinking about their eyes, that they made you angry, whatever it may be. It's scary to be raw and open and sensitive, but it's the ultimate test of your humanity.
2. Negativity is not cool- I'm still working on this one. Practice promoting the things you love as opposed to bashing the things you hate. Love things unabashedly, be excited about things.
3. Talk to strangers whenever you can. Try to make it a real talk, not just small talk. Ask the grocery store bagger how their day is going. You'll be surprised at what you can learn, and from who- as everyone you meet knows something that you do not.
4. Focus particularly on the elderly and small children. The older have seen more of this world that you have, and there is a certain type of wisdom that only 3 year olds possess.
5. Support other women- they are not your competition. They are actually kind of amazing.
6. High school really doesn't matter. Truly. Promise.
7. Life is too short to pretend to hate Taylor Swift, Starbucks, whatever. Being pretentious is a waste of time (someone go back in time and tell my 17 year old self this, please)
8. Self-care is very important. Whether it's taking a bath or staying home to watch Netflix or going shopping, do nice things for yourself. Do them often.
9. No matter what you're feeling, there is a book/song/movie that captures that feeling perfectly and will make you feel less isolated. Find it.
10. Crying is good for you, do it whenever you need to.
11. You will have your heart broken. Probably more than once. It will suck, a lot. The best thing that you can do is to learn from it and to USE it. Transforming pain into any form of art is something that we've been doing for centuries.
12. When it comes to relationships, compromise is necessary- but settling is not. Know your worth, I beg of you. Remember- "You can't make homes out of human beings. If he wants to leave, then let him leave. You are terrifying and strange and beautiful, something not everyone knows how to love." Don't chase after any guy. Period.
13. Everybody is cripplingly lonely at times. Everyone. No matter how perfect their life seems or how much fun they appear to be having.
14. You are not as odd as you think you are. “I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it's true I'm here, and I'm just as strange as you.” -Frida Kahlo
15. Binge drinking may sound like a good idea but...it's not. Like, ever. (I think we all learn this the hard way, the morning after). Be careful, be wary of who you're surrounded by.
16. Lipstick goes a long way.
17. Wear whatever you want. Disregard fashion 'rules', create your own signature sense of style.
18. Your family will come in good use. Be as close to them as you can. If you have siblings, try to view them as built-in best friends, as irritating as they can be at times.
19. You're never too old to need your mom. Never, ever, ever.
20. Loving yourself is a revolutionary act. There are old white dudes out there making millions of dollars profiting from our low self-esteem, trying to sell us stuff we don't need. The media is constantly attempting to poison our minds and providing us with impossible ideals. Don't let anyone tell you that you're wrong for thinking that you're beautiful, for posting selfies, for speaking too often or too confidently, for taking up space. Love yourself first and foremost, and always be bold and loud about it.

Life, Lately: Cincinnati visit | mushy relationship-y post, 9/21/14

So I spent this weekend in Cincinnati with Chase (my boyfriend, who attends UC, if you did not know)- and it was wonderful, I am full to the brim with love and gratitude. I figure it's best to recognize and then preserve these moments, because, as the great Kurt Vonnegut once said, "I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.”

anyway, here's just a couple of my favorite parts of this weekend- I already posted two or three of them elsewhere, but here's just a bit more background, I guess. Anyway, infinite thanks to him for providing me with a better visit and more love than I could ever ask for.

 

When I arrived, Chase had dove chocolates in the shape of a heart waiting on the bed. We ate every single one, I think. He also made me my first turkey burger, which was...really good? And I don't know how I'd never had one before? He cooked other things, as well, and I wish I had taken pictures of them, but I was too busy eating. He's a pretty good cook. There. A compliment. Also, if you're with a guy who doesn't cook for you, go find one that does. It's a real life-changer, I'm tellin ya

 

 

The Cincinnati Art Museum- this place was gorgeous, hands down best art museum I have ever been to. It was filled with paintings, which I've noticed a lot of art museums/exhibits are lacking. Not that other art mediums aren't nice as well, but paintings have always been my personal favorite. This is probably my favorite photo ever taken of the two of us, by the way- shoutout to the art museum employee lady for capturing this moment. I wish I had taken more (quality) photos, but all that really matters is that I snuck a picture of the Andy Warhol Campbell soup painting, which had a sign explicitly stating to please NOT take photos of it. I'm rebellious, sometimes.

 

 

 

 

Chase took us to the Half Price book sale, held in some giant empty room- there were tons of people, and even more books. It was some alternative version of heaven, I'm pretty sure. Everything was two dollars- there were people loading up multiple carts full of books. Glorious. The bottom picture is the books that he got for me- a daily yoga exercise book, a book on Claude Monet paintings/methods (my very favorite French impressionist artist, look him up !!!), and then, my favorite: 'How to Raise a Sane and Healthy Cat'- which he found and said I needed...because my cat is probably a little tiny bit not sane and not healthy after being suffocated with the overbearing affection of a crazy cat lady such as myself.

 

 

Finally, on Saturday night, we went to the park near UC that overlooks the entire city, and witnessed the male half of this random adorable couple proposing to his lady just feet away from us. LOOK HOW HAPPY HE LOOKS. It got me thinking about how, at any given time in any given place, the best moment of someone's life could be occurring. In fact, it often is. It's incredible to think that these things happen anywhere, and that sometimes we get to indirectly be a part of them.

 

 So anyway, I'm just very humbled to know somebody whose spirit aligns with mine in so many ways- and even in the ways that they don't, we complement each other's differences so well. I apologize if this is too mushy, but here's the thing: 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'

Life, Lately: 6/2/14

 

 

 

 

 

GOING ORGANIC! My goal for the summer is to greatly reduce the amount of processed foods that I consume, and to incorporate more organically grown fruits/vegetables into my diet. This sounded difficult at first, but the amount of delicious recipes I've found is truly astounding (but can we get a Whole Foods closer in proximity? Please?). Besides food, I've also decided to use organic products, as well. For me, this means organic shampoo, facewash, toothpaste, and makeup. I have purchased most of these things from Whole Foods, and will do a post soon on the benefits of holistic/natural hygiene and beauty, which I'm super excited about because I've been trying a ton of new things and methods!

 

Breakfast with my lil cutie :). I'll spare you all the mushy paragraph that I want to write...but just...*heart eyes emoji*
 

 

Whether I'm snuggled with Luna (the cat pictured above, AKA the light of my life), or playing with the little cuties above that I'm lucky enough to have at my house daily, providing the magical sort of wisdom that only three year olds possess- there is so much love here at this house lately.

Lastly- my one true love, thrifting. I spend a couple hours per trip, and it's probably my biggest hobby, especially for the summer. This photo isn't of the greatest quality, BUT pictured on the right is a replica of a Salvador Dali painting, done when he was only 13 years old! Pretty incredible find for a mere 9 dollars. Anyway, that's it for now. This summer is looking promising in a multitude of ways, and there's so much to do and to be thankful for and I'm just overflowing with happiness. Hope you all are enjoying your days, as well!

 

 

 

 



 

#YesAllWomen- a Revolution Within a Hashtag

As most of you probably know, a few days ago, a college student opened fire at UCSB. The attack left 7 dead (including the gunman) and 13 wounded. Shortly after, videos made by the attacker came to light. These videos, uploaded to youtube, consisted of several minutes of the attacker going on tirades about his hatred of women and his plans to kill them as revenge for, as he worded it, "never giving [him] the sex and attention that [he] deserved". Despite this being a blatant act of misogyny and a hate crime against women- people still refused to label this guy a terrorist. We were met with cries of "but not ALL men!!! this guy was just crazy!!!" But the truth is, this is a problem involving ALL men. This is a societal problem, not just some random one-time crazy thing.

According to TIME, when there is a mass shooter or a massacre, there is a 98% chance that the perpetrator is a man. Yeah, you read that correctly. This country doesn't have a fucking youth violence problem, or even a fucking gun problem- this country has a male killer problem. And that's scary, and important.

The other day, I read something that said "No, not all men harass and abuse women- but all women have been harassed or abused by a man." Although it may not always be in the form of gunfire, violence and other acts of misogyny against women is prevalent and it is happening every day. While most men won't go as far as this man in particular, the poisonous ideals that he held are in the minds of men and boys everywhere. How many of you have ever heard the "Girls only go for jerks! They ignore the nice guys!! I'm a NICE GUY" bullshit, or something of that sort? How many of you (girls) have been harassed by a guy that just wouldn't get it and insisted that you continue to talk to him, despite your obvious discomfort? The idea that men are owed a woman's time or her affection or her body is male entitlement, and it greatly contributed to this shooting. The idea that a girl should date you or sleep with you simply because you were 'nice' to her or bought her dinner or just because you like her, that's male entitlement. Women don't have to talk to you, look at you, smile at you, or fuck you. period.

Anyway, here's my own compilation of a few reasons why #YesAllWomen:

• #YesAllWomen because 1 out of every 5 American women will be the victim of a completed or attempted sexual assault in her lifetime.
• #YesAllWomen because nearly half of all female rape victims were assaulted by a friend or acquaintance- somebody that they knew.
• #YesAllWomen because we can't walk down the street at night without pepper spray.
• #YesAllWomen because 83% of girls between the ages of 12 and 16 have already experienced sexual harassment in school.
• #YesAllWomen because one my friend was bullied and called a 'slut' and 'whore' repeatedly after a guy spread a private photo of her- and nobody said a word about him for betraying her trust.
• #YesAllWomen because a guy that I considered to be a friend attempted to drunkenly assault me at a party when I was 16, and because I immediately left and never went to another party again- and never told anybody why.

In short, #YesAllWomen because all women deserve better. We deserve to speak up and to be heard, and not to be silenced or told we are 'overreacting' or being 'crazy'. We deserve to feel safe. And most importantly, the victims of this tragedy deserved to live. RIP.

Life, Lately

 

 

I still have no idea how to format photos on here, so forgive how terrible this looks (and also forgive that I can't take pictures to save my life) but I've wanted to document everything- for myself. In an effort to watch myself grow and change, I'm capturing everything that matters to me- through both words and photographs. It's been a month of ups and downs, but also a lot of hairstyle changes, fashion exploration, good coffee, a dive into the world of poetry & classics- and of course, an endless series of cat photos. Here's to more pointless blogging once I get my hands on a legitimate camera! I'm excited for all the creative opportunities the future has to offer.

 

 

New Years Resolutions That May Actually Change Your Life

1) Live as honestly as you can. As cliché as it is, you could be dead tomorrow. You could get hit by a bus, you could have an unexpected heart attack in your sleep. Tell people you love them all the time. Tell them you're happy they're alive. When someone hurts you, let them know. Stop pretending you aren't bleeding simply because you don't want to appear weak. "There is nothing more beautiful than being honest and being desperate- and there is nothing more dangerous than pretending you don't care."

2) This is how he will leave you: hours after telling you he loves you- silently, unexpectedly, through back doors and basement windows in the middle of the night. He will never call you again. When you feel tempted to call him first, replay the sound of his tires screeching down the street. Recall how his car always reeked of pot anyway, and how he never once bought you flowers. This year, put the phone down and remind yourself that you cannot be abandoned, you can only be released.

3) Wear whatever the hell you want. It sounds simple, but it never has been. Wear knee high socks in the dead of winter, wear neon orange, wear a cocktail dress to the grocery store. If they stare at you, good. Change your hair color, experiment with different eye makeup. You are Van Gogh and your entire body is a blank canvas for you to paint as you please.

4) stop getting wasted with people who don't give two shits about you. Find the people that you can call at 3 am crying- and then do it. Redefine the perfect Friday night. Spend it making homemade tacos and blackout poetry out of old Bukowski books.

5) Live.

6) Live.

7)Live.