okay, SO, I've decided to do a sort of 'blog series' on issues surrounding female sexuality, body image, etc etc etc- and I feel like I've put it off for so long because there's just so much to cover, and I'm still not sure exactly where to start. Anyway, I'm aiming to maintain a somewhat informal tone here and not sound too academic for the sake of not boring anyone to death, so bear with me as I sloppily attempt to cover key points of a hugely complex, systemic societal thing. I'mjust gonna consider this post somewhat of an introduction to the posts that are to follow...
ANYWAY, something I've kind of struggled with over the past couple years is my concept of my own sexuality. I think it's important to first address what the term 'sexuality' means and what it encompasses- because it's, like, a lot. So people hear the term 'sexuality' and the first thing they think of is either A) the sexual orientation of a person/which gender they are attracted to, or B) sex- sex they are having, aren't having, would like to have, etc. Sexuality does include these things and they're majorly important- but for me, I've always identified as straight, so that was never a big part of my 'confusion' (although I acknowledge that it obviously is a big issue for many people, I'm just not really qualified to speak on that). The thing is, though, that sexuality is so much more broad that we've made it to be. Sexuality also includes things like body image and self esteem, the way you express yourself (via clothing, body language, verbal language, etc), and your attitudes, values, and ideals in regards to your sexual behaviors and relationships.
I think that my biggest issues were centered around these sort of double standards and conflicting ideals that our society has in place that particularly pertain to the sexuality of WOMEN. I've read a few things that set this alarm off in my head- one of them was this quote about how women are expected to be 'sexy, but not sexual' - and I started seeing how prevalent this ideal was. So we've grown up in this culture where sexualized images and attitudes toward women just run completely rampant- try to take notice of how many you see/hear in a single day but maybe don't pay attention to because it's all so internalized- there's Victoria's Secret billboards on the freeway, ads for strip clubs on the radio, white boys making awful and unfunny jokes in the back rows of lecture halls- I'm serious, this is everywhere, but I'm sure you already are at least aware of this.
Back to the 'sexy but not sexual' aspect of this- given that young girls are surrounded by these messages at all times, it only makes sense that the logical conclusion we'd draw from it is: be sexy! be desirable! And so of course, many young girls attempt to take this route, because again, THAT'S WHAT MAKES SENSE- and are met with an often very cruel and confusing response. I'd say that it's usually around middle school that words like 'slut' begin getting thrown around, and it never really stops from there. Another quote that I like says something like, "people are constantly begging to see the female body, but once they do, somebody's a 'slut'". Slut shaming is an issue that I intend to dedicate an entire post to, so I'm really really getting ahead of myself here- but I wanted to first at least briefly illustrate exactly how backwards and contradictory all of this is.
The main thing that I intend to do with these posts is sort of debunk all of these false conceptions and myths and really harmful ideas that are surrounding female sexuality- and, more importantly, to remove the taboo and stigma from talking about them openly, from being in touch with your own sexuality in a way that's not controlled by society or the media. So look forward to some discussions on body image, female anatomy, the female orgasm (I know right!!! truly getting wild), sex shaming, school dress codes, and a whole bunch more that tie into our personal and societal concepts of sexuality more than we might think. OK I rambled a lot and I AM DONE NOW but I shall return shortly with more dirty words and whatnot
