20 Things I Learned by Age 20 (and wish I'd learned sooner)

1. Apathy is not cool. Pretending not to care is a dangerous game. Be honest about your feelings. Tell people you love them, that you've been thinking about their eyes, that they made you angry, whatever it may be. It's scary to be raw and open and sensitive, but it's the ultimate test of your humanity.
2. Negativity is not cool- I'm still working on this one. Practice promoting the things you love as opposed to bashing the things you hate. Love things unabashedly, be excited about things.
3. Talk to strangers whenever you can. Try to make it a real talk, not just small talk. Ask the grocery store bagger how their day is going. You'll be surprised at what you can learn, and from who- as everyone you meet knows something that you do not.
4. Focus particularly on the elderly and small children. The older have seen more of this world that you have, and there is a certain type of wisdom that only 3 year olds possess.
5. Support other women- they are not your competition. They are actually kind of amazing.
6. High school really doesn't matter. Truly. Promise.
7. Life is too short to pretend to hate Taylor Swift, Starbucks, whatever. Being pretentious is a waste of time (someone go back in time and tell my 17 year old self this, please)
8. Self-care is very important. Whether it's taking a bath or staying home to watch Netflix or going shopping, do nice things for yourself. Do them often.
9. No matter what you're feeling, there is a book/song/movie that captures that feeling perfectly and will make you feel less isolated. Find it.
10. Crying is good for you, do it whenever you need to.
11. You will have your heart broken. Probably more than once. It will suck, a lot. The best thing that you can do is to learn from it and to USE it. Transforming pain into any form of art is something that we've been doing for centuries.
12. When it comes to relationships, compromise is necessary- but settling is not. Know your worth, I beg of you. Remember- "You can't make homes out of human beings. If he wants to leave, then let him leave. You are terrifying and strange and beautiful, something not everyone knows how to love." Don't chase after any guy. Period.
13. Everybody is cripplingly lonely at times. Everyone. No matter how perfect their life seems or how much fun they appear to be having.
14. You are not as odd as you think you are. “I used to think I was the strangest person in the world but then I thought there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do. Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it's true I'm here, and I'm just as strange as you.” -Frida Kahlo
15. Binge drinking may sound like a good idea but...it's not. Like, ever. (I think we all learn this the hard way, the morning after). Be careful, be wary of who you're surrounded by.
16. Lipstick goes a long way.
17. Wear whatever you want. Disregard fashion 'rules', create your own signature sense of style.
18. Your family will come in good use. Be as close to them as you can. If you have siblings, try to view them as built-in best friends, as irritating as they can be at times.
19. You're never too old to need your mom. Never, ever, ever.
20. Loving yourself is a revolutionary act. There are old white dudes out there making millions of dollars profiting from our low self-esteem, trying to sell us stuff we don't need. The media is constantly attempting to poison our minds and providing us with impossible ideals. Don't let anyone tell you that you're wrong for thinking that you're beautiful, for posting selfies, for speaking too often or too confidently, for taking up space. Love yourself first and foremost, and always be bold and loud about it.